The "Cool"

I have taken notice to a few things during my life in college.

The "Cool" thing to do is to be "Uncool".

Let me explain; it has become extremely cool to mimic people who are in fact individuals and then proclaim that you yourself are in fact "cool" and "different"

EXAMPLE

* Kelis cuts hair- every black girl I know cuts hair, and becomes the BIGGEST Kelis fan of all time resiting each song line for line BOSSY this BOSSY that.....

 But the same girls weren't rocking the Hot Pink Fro in 2000 or 2001

But the "uncool" got cool with "Bossy"

* (Sighs) Rihanna.....

Well we all know that once again cutting your hair has become "cool" again, now along with being "hipster Chic".

- Metallic anything

This idea about the "cool" "uncool" isnt just limited to ladies

I would like to start by saying I would like to kick all the guys who once talked shit about skinny jean and are now wearing them in the nuts.

This time last year almost every guy I ran into said " Naw I cant do that skinny jean Sh**"  and not only were they saying this they were talking smack about the guys who actually did wear the skinnys. 

NOW almost every guy I know wears pants tighter then mine, don't get me wrong skinny jeans CAN be a good look. All I am saying is DON'T be a hypocrite if you once talked badly about skinnys DON'T make that the only kind of jean you own now. 

Further more, the skinny jean on a male CAN be a great look, but there are far too many men wearing them wrong! Guys your pants should NOT look like leggings, yes they can be tight but they should still look like jeans. 

Finally if I hear one more guy 

say they started a trend here in Chicago I may kill myself, fellas its ok for you to have seen something in a magazine, on TV, even on another guy and try it for yourself.  it is ok I promise. Just don't proclaim you started t if you didn't. 

What I want everyone to take from this is be yourself. Yes it is cool to have idols but don't try to become them (ladies) Men be true to yourself. Mimicking someone and pretending that you didn't isn't cool. 

The "unCool" isn't  the new "Cool" being yourself is. 

A$

Frustration... Coarsed Love... The Real Jones

For the past month and a half I feel that nothing has been on the COMPLETE up and up for me. As stated in "Move" I am stuck in this shit hole apartment building, however I am happy that I have someplace to live, it is just not the apartment that I really wanted. I spent a month and half on looking for apartment, learned that I cannot move out of my building, then found an apartment that i really liked in my building and then they stringed me along and now I cannot move for another week and a half. Mind you, I had packed my things up thinking I was moving Sept. 1st.... and threw out my couch. But I am happy I am moving in 10 days. This is Pure Frustration. Work... Pure Frustration. Family... Pure Frustration. Love Life... Pure Frustration.




Regaurdless, the 100 proof Pure Frustration that you are going through with love, you CANNOT Coarse, Manulipuate,Twist, Trick, or any of the sort someone into liking you or loving you. Love just doesn't work like that. You will slowly be reavled. Your tricks will def be seen. Love is a very intricate emotion and your senses will pick away until you get to the truth. Now, this is different than Twisting somethings so you can see that person... or get that person to notice you. That is completly different. When you Coarse someone to fall in love with you, the other person will soon see the people that you hurt, left behind, or used to get to them. It may take time but will become obivious. You will end up with your tounge out your mouth and with some broken love and maybe a broken heart. You will become seen by your own frustrations being obvious and you know what..... I see you.


Now, through all of this frustration.. you have to have the The Real in your life. It doesnt have to a boyfriend or no shit like that. It has to be someone that when you see you think of the first time you seen them or just the GOOD and BAD times that you have had together because it has turned the relationship into the good that you have now. When you see them you just smile.... the Real in my life is .....



Papa Jones... The Real Jones... The Realest Man Alive. Known to Man. My Real says, "What do I need to find a couch fo', I got a couch and plasma t.v.'s at home." in reference to the Crimson Lounge Akira afterparty. Or will break out singing Karokete. My Real has my back no matter what... eventhough it may be hard for him to understand my side because I am his babygirl. He is my Real... The Real Jones.


The Real has to be the person who you can go to on your worse days and when you have Pure Frustration in all aspects of your life. All they have to do is say, "Hi" and your Pure Frustrations turn to thoughts of Pure Resoultions. You just want to enjoy this time with your Real.
D ♥

"The Things That Made Me Smile, Now Make Me Cry."

Sorry, for not blogging for a while... school has started... you know how it is.

But this blog is some of the effects of school. I remember being so excited about school and going home and even being excited to go to sleep to start the day again. However, these days have not been like the old days.... I haven't been sleeping that well cause I have been so consumed with school and work and etc. This dream that I had was... um a little crazy.lol

Now this was a dream that I had last night and the star was Mos Def and I… I didn’t want that dream to end…WARNING: Don’t eat, listen to your Ipod and then fall asleep or do and you will freakbody ass dreams like this.


It is 1 o’clock as I sit alone in my bed in my high rise apt. Fuck… he is supposed to be here. Awaken by his absence. I take a look at my phone…. He hasn’t even called. I fall back to my pillow and feel a tear come from my eye….

The phone rings….

“hey girl he just left the club with some bitch”


“Alright”

“girl, did you just hear what I said… are you ok? What do you to do…you want me to say something to his ass cause I will… girl you know I will… blah blah blah ”

I hang up the phone without thinking or having to hear what she has to say. The world right now is non existent.

I am waiting on the elevator and my mind is racing so much I cannot think of the next thing I should do. I step on the elevator and I am puzzled with everything that is going on right now…

As the elevator hits each floor, my mind hits every memory of him and the memories that we have together…

Ding 8 Our kisses
Ding7 His scent
Ding6 His laugh
Ding5 Our arguements
Ding4 His feelings toward me…
Ding3 Why would he do this to me
Ding2 ….


I run through the rain with a silk slip to my car, and just my luck I would be listening to this song…

U R The One…. (fuck that put this shit on repeat)

I woulda never thought (damn)
I guess I better think again (you know?)
OK, now the shit is really sinking in

By now I am crying, speeding down the Chicago streets ready to end it all. I trusted him….

I trusted him…


I trusted him….

Why did I trust him…. I sreetch to a halt for the red light and try to calm down… my heart is now pounding a little harder than the rain now…. I’m now speeding faster than ever to get to him. Not knowing what to say to him. Not knowing how to feel about him. Not knowing anything but I love him.

Couldn't read the signs in the road: "SLOW DOWN!"
I'm too deep in the road now
Got me pulling over getting smoked out
Fighting tears that I can't hold down
Can't believe it, this fucka's got me weeping
I keep it a secret so my friends won't peep it (live man?)
But late in the evening I'm up, my chest heaving
I'm reaching in the dark and I'm looking for the reason



I am sitting here thinking do I really wanna go upstairs and see what the fuck is going on up there… is that something I wanna even up myself up to?

The girl don’t matter. I know what they are all about. I can care less about her… The real problem is that I trusted him… My love is preventing me from hating him…

I failed to realize that I was sitting in front of his building sobbing and thinking.. more of the sobbing than thinking. I am now going on uncontrollable emotion. It drove me over here. It made me cry. It is making me hurt. I am just so fucken hurt.

How could all the magic and passion just vanish (c'mon)
Went from outstanding, to makin' me shout, "Dammit!"
Can't explain the changes, behavior's is outlandish
Now I'm just stuck in the road feeling stranded
I'm in the dark wishing for the answers
On some ol' "Biggie gimme one more chance" shit

My heels are clicking clacking towards his door, this keys jingling in my hand.
(I can remember him saying, “use these whenever you want”)
My hands are shaking, I open the unlocked door to see “the girl” walking towards me. She looks shaken of what just happened and of seeing me walking through the door. As I walk through the wet hallway, I hear music gentenly coming through the stereo….

I stand there… he looks at me as if he is not surprised of my presence. we Do not speak…

“Don’t come back”

I turn around as the girl walks out hanging her head in shame.

I continue to stand there…. Waiting for him to say something…yet nothing has been said. I am just standing there. However I seem to be captured by the television…. But still hurt.

I snap back into reality and realize where I am at and my eyes shift to him…

“What the fuck was that???”

He takes a second before he looks at me…

“What you mean?”

“What the fuck do you think I mean? What the fuck was that shit that just walked out the door? What the fuck was the shit that you told me that you were coming over after you finished your “runs”. What fuck???”

“You just need to calm down. Didn’t shit happen. And you know that. I was about jump in the car to come over until you decided to come over with this bullshit.”

Taken back from his attitude… all I can do is mumble “I trusted you”

Fuck that… that aint all I can do… My hand whips across his face with all my might.

Walking away from me… he walks into the kitchen

“What are you doing….?”

“What does it look like I am doing? I am thirsty.”

“So you are deciding to you make some tea. You don’t give a shit about what I just said…”

“No, I am making you some tea cause you look and smell like you walked out of Lake Michigan. And I can tell you are cold…”

I remembered what I have on. He is looking at my boobs. Any other time I would have just laughed and playfully hit him and give him a kiss. But this is not any other time. This time I am hurt. I my eyes are blaring, trying to hold back every tear that is in my eyes…. And every emotion that I have in my heart is wanting me to cry, and every thought in my mind is telling me not to. All of my thoughts are scrambled and i cannot even conture up the words to say to him…

“Sit down.”

He walks over with tea and bottle of juice. He takes his shirt from the back of the couch and puts it around me.

“I used to talk to her while ago and she gave me this bullshit ass story about how her friends left her at the club and she didn’t have any cash for a cab……. She thought something was gonna happen I guess….”

I am sitting… not even thinking. Just a blank soul listening to his words fill up my brain.

“I gave her a ride over here, gave her some money for a cab and then you walked your crazy ass in….”

My eyes blare in his direction


…He laughs…


“You are not crazy… but you do hit hard. Next time I fight I am calling your ass.”

He comes closer to me, hugs me as tight has he ever had…

“Destiny,


I love you I would never hurt you.”



A tear falls from my eye on to his shirt as he takes me to the bedroom to cover me up… and he whispers,

“Everything will be ok”



I call me stupid but I believe him.


-D ♥